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ballad.of.a.paralysed.citizen. [entries|friends|calendar]
a.u.d.r.e.y.

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add me [Monday
January 16th, 2006]
new journal

http://www.livejournal.com/users/elegy__________/

dont ask, dont tell.
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happy belated friday the 13th [Saturday
January 14th, 2006]
so, yesterday will go down in the booooooooks

its one of my new holidayssssssss. hahaha so we ( me jenny mo devin) had this plan that on friday the 13th would be our own 4 20 and we would be stoned for 13 hours. yah uhhh that doesnt work cuz at one point in time you get sleepy. hahha but even so, it is our new holiday and we must follow its tradition.

anywho.

there were so many siiiiiigns,

we saw banana slugs!!!!!!!!

and we found the merry go round! it was like there shining for us.

and it was so funnnnnnnnnnnnnn, until jenny almost died.

and then i kept finding mini oranges, and today in the dining hall, there was a bin full of them

i know its a sign, of what i dont know yet, but it IS a sign.

and they were pplaying dance dance.

the world is full of signs, not yet known of, but they are signs, i know they are.

today is rbf and im still debating if i should go or not.

i want sex.

drum circle, full moon, and thunderstorms with lighting.
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im sad [Thursday
January 12th, 2006]
i cant help but feel the negative tension between me and juan, =( and i feel like its all cuz of the whole diego thing. ewww wtf. so layme.

eventually, someones gotta lose right?

and of course, it must be me.
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intelligent design makes me vomit [Thursday
January 12th, 2006]
fuck, with alito soon to be confirmed, our path to DOOM continues to get closer and closer.

i seriously am so full of anger, i do not understand why NOONE cares. wtffffffff

everything is about to fall aparttttttttttt, i cant handle it.

really pisses me off.

anywho, classes are WONDERFUL. having no sections is the best thing ever.

all my classes interest me, so its good.

all we talk about in envir80a is the amazon!!!!!
joe hill is my new lover <333
astronomy is like a trip back to eighth grade. =)

im applying for orientation leader next year.

pray for me.

i dont understand why all the haterade towards porter/kresge dining hall, its actually good.
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i want a carrot [Wednesday
January 11th, 2006]
i wore a dress today, and life was okay. =)

i love this placeeeeeeeeee. i never ever ever want to leave.

i really wish i could leave my carson baggage behind!

its so hard with myspace and AIM and dwhatnot.

ughhh.

whahtever, the point is im TRYING.

i miss my friends, like tiffany and michael.

people i could be MYSELF around.

sometimes i feel like ughgh college 10 is layme and im really only truly comfy with jenny.

sometimes i wonder what if i went to porter/kresge , but then i wouldnt have met foofee and mo and lots of others and other shit.

but i just feel like porter i can be myself at. and kresge is apartments!!!

college 10 does feel like the "highschool" dorms at times.

LESSON LEARNED:

dont ever choose a college because of its theme

on another note, i always get RE obsessed with a band i like after a long time of listening to them

as of now, the victim is contravene<3333333

p.s. i love santa cruz<333333333333333333333

my plans for the rest of the school year:
-find a job
-find housing OFFcampus

which will mean, i DONT have to go to carson for summer!!!!!!!!

i really hope this works out.

and spring break after mexico im planning to spend in sf wiht crystal!! yay!!!!!!!!!!
also going to sf jan 21 for protest <3333. crystal go!!
i should go read. bye.
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yadda yadda [Tuesday
January 10th, 2006]
i am so laymeeeeeeeee

i hate being shy?!?! wtf. i would be so much cooler if i wasnt


im 19 and i act like a little kid, well i actually like that part =)

but anywho.

hahahahahaha

today i was layme when i could have been cool.

middle school style crushes suck.

hahahahaha
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suck a nut [Monday
January 9th, 2006]
today,

i had "balls". and i got italian stallion's phone number.

thats my story, whats yours?
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nn [Sunday
January 8th, 2006]
yayy im excited.

tomorrow is first day of winter quarter for me <3333

ive been on my death bed with some viral infection ever since.

fevers and throw ups aew not fun
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lalalalalal [Sunday
January 8th, 2006]
im back.. from. uhh .yah

anywho.

weeeeeeeeeee


i decided t o umm.. alter my plan.

=)

cuz im a weenie like that

and yah.

we will see whats up
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who knows [Tuesday
January 3rd, 2006]
and here is the masterful plan i have conjured:

im leaving tomororw;

and doing what i shouild have done the first day i left to santa cruz

goodbye world.

goodbye freinds, i love you.

i will contact all when my sidhartha journey is over.

its truly time for me to be selfish.

i dont need all this crap, i really need to break free

if i believe in freedom i need to start with myself.

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oh santa cruz, youre not that far [Friday
December 30th, 2005]
so im not even looking forward to the undies party cuz im sure it wont happen because here everyone is judgemental and its just not the same in sc. and even though they were all excited and down for it when it was brought up now the doubts are abundant and everyones like " do we really have to wear undies?" uhhh it IS an underwear party. hahahaha so whatever, scratch that out and leave it for sc where it will actually thrive and prosper.

anywho, today next week i will be back in my haven =)

im so glad to go back home, ive been here for tooo long.

so ive been building up my plan and its going to be miraculous,

i cant wait to put it into action. =)

but the point is, i love sc and want to go back NOW.

i am REALLY looking forward to living off campus next year just so i wont have to go home for these dumb breaks. they are toooo long. especially summer. oh my, how will i survive summer? i hope there are programs in the summer that involve me not having to come back here.

i probably sound like a bitch to my family and friends, but ive been in this dump for too long. and dont forget, i love you =)

and i TOTALLY concur with jenny on her post how in SC people dont care or are judgemental and here everyone is close minded.

so sad, but true.

im so happy i broke freeeeeeeeeeeeee.

goodbye for now.
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boo boo kitty fuck [Thursday
December 29th, 2005]
ive always thought since like high school that EVERYONE IS BISEXUAL. my bisexual theory lalalalala. its somewhere in here in my old entries. anywho. ive never been with a girl. make out yah but im a make out hoe and making out is just like any other activity to me. its funnnnnnnnnnn and i dont have to have absolutely any feelings for the other. i think girls are pretty, cute, hott. but i have never liked a girl.

then the other day at the mall something weird happened.

i seen a girl; and then it happened.

hi im audrey, and im bisexual?

yed it doesnt sound right



and its just another part of my never ending confusion that im dealing with right now


therefore i have concluded

after a lifetime of conmtemplating and pondering i have came to the conclusion that i must take drastic measures which will be implemented upon my return to my homeland of santa cruz.

be prepared world,

cuz just when you thought you knew me,

you have NO IDEA.
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because i dont give a fuck [Tuesday
December 27th, 2005]
this weekend has been fun

my birthday was awesome, i love love love my freinds.

went clubbing, clockwork orange is fun.

i want to go again.

and to a rave also!

um... new years is gonna be funnnnnnnnnnnn =)

underwear party on friday, PPK style. woop woop

ill be taking the hummus and chips

hahaha

but i still miss home.

i mean, CARSON is meant for visiting, if anything.

CARson/LA/SouthBAy?utopian wasteland

watever u want to call it

is NOT for me.

Santa Cruz i miss. i looooooooove it there.

i could be there with no fucken friends and still be happier then i would ever be here.

the environment here is UGLY.

my freinds/family/ppk ARE THE BEST, i dont mean them when i talk shit on LA just the environment.

peopel are too racist, stupid, ignorant, and everything else that is wrong with the humyn race.

sucsk to be you if youre stuck in this shit hole
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riding the primitive wave [Wednesday
December 21st, 2005]
umm

the xiu xiu / babyland show was off the hook. =) good shit. if i wasnt already in love with xiu xiu, i fell more in love <33333333. so awesome


uumm the universal studios/extra deal was funn too. hahahaha it was fun waving at the people on the tour trams and blowing kisses at them as if i were like shannyn sossamon or some famous ass person. hott shit. other than that, omg it was freezing and standing there for ever was boring and those extras think they are the shit. too funny

um nothing else,

other then my usual complaining on how i hate carson and yearn to go back to SC cuz this place is smelly ugly polluted drama filled and layme. and even besides all that crap i do love seeing my friends/family. ♥ =), even though ive been feeling emo layme lately. like umm i dont know. i have issues and i always feel that NOONE cares. lalala and it was weird coming back. like i felt awkward around my friends i only felt comfy if jenny or juan was there. weird shit i know. but i got over it? but then i still feel weird like noone likes me lalalala and um i dont know just weird.

this place is ugly.

someone hang out with me. =(

it really sucks being disconnected from the world.

umh. ok back to my boring life.

bye
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what a poop [Monday
December 12th, 2005]
i want to go HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg i didnt think being back in carson would be this LAYME.

sure visiting for a couple days is nice,

but 3 weeks is too LONG.

and to make it worst, i have no INTERNET, no MUSIC, no RADIO, and no LIFE here

everyone goes to school or has a job and i just mope around my house getting fatter

i am seriously considering going back like a week earlier. or right after my bday.

plus i waanna be there for the last night parade.

anywho. i also forgot my phone book.=-(

so call me and hang out with me. im lonely.
(310) 8347970
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lets educate eachother =) [Tuesday
December 6th, 2005]
i would like suggestions on readings for winter break. tell me some good books people!!

here are books i encourage you to read:

*do androids dream of electric sheep? by Phillp K Dick( what it means to by humyn)
*possessing the secret of joy. Alice Walker(womyns oppression, cultural expectations)
*reviving ophelia by Mary Pipher(stories about grrrls dealing with growing up and either being themselves and being ostracized or trying to assimilate into the fit mold made for womyn)
*behold a pale horse by William Cooper( for all you conspiracy theorists)
*handmaids tale by margaret atwood (dystopian world where womyn are oppressed (what a suprise!), sex in institutionalized, and the us is ran under a theocracy.)

and i forget the rest. jsut ask me though. the end. bye
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AD [Tuesday
December 6th, 2005]
WANNA LOOK HOTTER THAN AN SG?
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OR just show your friends how you Party?
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How bout payin for ur OVERLY expensive PUBLIC College education for merely lookin hott ?
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or do u JUst blow at takin mirror pics and are in grave danger of lookin lame on ur myspace?
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maybe u wanan look like a pimp ass danger boy?
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or show ur friends how cOOl u ARe?
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WATEVER the reason, theres only one place to go to
Photosessions by AUDREY,
cuz shes kooler then u are.

and p.s. shes from compton.

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..when you got hott ass jenny!!!

help this lovely girl go to college and become the future educator for youre future children. =)
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i found my calling in life [Tuesday
December 6th, 2005]
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this party was very productive, it showed me my purpose in life.

besides being a bartender, i will also be a director of jenny's new site.

so help her go to college. help me go to college. help us all.

and in turn we will help youre children and future generations.

=)

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peanut butter jelly time [Tuesday
December 6th, 2005]
[ mood | bouncy ]

last weekend together -- weekend before finals -- underwear party
*photo sessions
*kings
*round 2 at 4 am
*random people in and out
*FUN TIMES, GOOD TIMES

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best show ever [Thursday
December 1st, 2005]
(w/ exception of bright♥eyes. because nothing is ever better then bright eyes. EVER)

anywho

the propagandhi show was mucho fun <3333

funnest show here, so far

western addiction: nicemusic, hella funny and very entertaining. big plus for them

greg mcphereson??: very interesting... longest set ever!!!!!. but overall. kool music. and style

propagandhi:) omg they are awesome<33333, their accents are hott. i love the lyrical content and what they say. and the show was hott. hahaha there was a milkshake fighting over an american flag with security. hahaha then mc donalds fries came out then as we were walking out.... there is a cop putting out a burning flag.

gotta love it.♥

next week is limp wrist. woop woop
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